| must. graduate. |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|10:54 am] |
horoscope for first week of break (post-finals, back home) scaring the hell out of me...
Dec 13, 2009 (Dec 11, 2009 to Feb 14, 2010) Sat 12th H.
This can be a lonely period of isolation for you. Severing ties and eliminating anything nonessential from your life enables you to clear away the old to make way for the new, unencumbered by the debts and baggage from the past. Beware the inclination to view everything you've done until now in a negative light. Guilt and a sense of failure or disappointment may nag you. Try, instead, to be detached and dispassionate about your mistakes and the things which did not turn out as you hoped, and begin to make quiet preparations for the next cycle in your life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|07:44 pm] |
my stepdad forgot I was home this morning when he backed out of the garage.
...my poor car. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|07:10 pm] |
everything happens because it needs to.
and thank god for that. |
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| shhhh |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|12:38 pm] |
"After individually assessing each applicant, Peace Corps is typically unable to reasonably accommodate applicants with the following conditions:
Bi-Polar Disorder 1
Major Depression, recurrent" |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|07:42 pm] |
One of the worst Halloweens turned into the very best;
my fish is still alive, my heart's in one piece (even if leftover broken bits come dislodged from time to time), there are pets and lovers and a future to be had... |
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| a yearn-off |
[Oct. 26th, 2009|05:41 pm] |
I'm glad they made us neighbors five years ago.
Manhattan, Chicago, San Francisco, Iowa, Scotland, Italy or London?
I hope I make it to the future |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|08:22 am] |
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oh the clock's lapping me |
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| her name will be Cookie |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|04:27 pm] |
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there's a chihuahua in our house now, mine if it sticks around until May, more Christmas lights, a Chicago-bound New Year's road trip in the works (hitting five other states), a tease of autumn, two papers and some thesis to write... a you! an everything wonderful. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|06:07 am] |
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two dogs, cops and filth over three cats, family and spotlessness isn't the choice I'd care to make, but God they're cute (I miss you) |
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| has it really been 8 years? |
[Sep. 11th, 2009|10:44 am] |
will admit that they're right, that there is a great divide between the last 8 years exactly and however many came before them;
helps that I wasn't a month into my first year of high school when a girl I had a confusing crush on came bursting into our biology class in doomsday panic (and after the teacher had for some unimaginable reason turned off the TV to give us ice cream sandwiches, burst in again, something about Washington DC and only alien movies came to mind)... etc. etc. etc., gist being that I'm pretty sure someone else existed in this skin until then, maybe a little before then.
everything comes full circle? see: left wrist;
graduating this year (knock on wood)...
and finally I feel very old. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 2nd, 2009|07:56 am] |
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this place (page) was a madhive once abuzz with musings on & recordings of everylast essence of high school, of first year, of every transition or conundrum & of the rein of self-sabotage; never crash, livejournal or the almost 200 albums will be all I'll have (not nearly enough, not nearly)... my brain cells have been so punished that my memory felt the blows too, details slipping quickly & even walking among the same halls & lawns stirs only the fuzziest static flickers of words or phrases as flashes of image or speech or taste too brief to discern. thankgod for ephemeralbox & its ability to retain the voice I had then, voice it seems slipping too... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|11:03 am] |
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wer@$@diosog^*(!0pjqo$tq^%#@hwadkl@hgklahsaqreoO(A#*$R@)QOjhfsaiodx |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|05:41 pm] |
for an immobile, physically excruciating & moneyless summer,
it sure was a good one. |
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| all in all... (if I get these now 30 pages written in something like 15 hours) |
[May. 18th, 2009|10:23 pm] |
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I've finally loved my roommates, especially the final set, and the joy to have formed these support systems far surpasses what I thought might be the joy of this room... so blessed for that, and blessed for my summer and fall plans, for finding myself beautiful or just plain valuable for the first time in so long (such a crime), for the clarity of emerging from a shitstorm swirling around me and being the least of the participants somehow, beaming with the convictions no one has had the desire to hear for months (not bothering to subject them to it)... the warmth in my chest even now, with so very much to write all night long, with my old habits crashing down on me in an intense way all over again (AGAIN)... the patterns that matter do repeat themselves when they're needed, and there's a comfort here... I had it right from the start and am thrilled with this. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2009|09:49 am] |
...one of those dreams from which you never want to wake up
to one of those realities to which you never want to wake up |
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| typing with blinds closed |
[May. 7th, 2009|07:17 pm] |
it doesn't take much
(there was so, so much)
to jolt me back into how fucking disgusting and
wondering how I ever...
but comments now and then (strangers, mostly) and the speed with which my sheets cool
(never these walls, though, because it's been such a prettier and happier place and has become all of us now)...
what damn demons |
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